


For Forever

by xxNuggetxx



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Character Death, Depression, F/F, M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-03 22:13:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13350576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxNuggetxx/pseuds/xxNuggetxx
Summary: **THIS BOOK IS TRASH**





	1. School Shooter Chic

Evan sighed and looked down at his cast. Maybe this year would be different for him, maybe he could actually have a friend. Maybe his anxiety would just blow away, or maybe he would would blow away. He needed to think positively. He tucked his letter to his pocket, and walked outside. 

 

The cold air made him shiver and run back inside to get a jacket. He took a deep breath, and walked to the bus stop. He felt the panic rise as he realized that there were other people there. He thought about going back home, but no, he was determined. 

 

He looked down at his wrist, a question mark written on it. He smiled, knowing it was from his soulmate; but he didn't know what it meant. It’s the only thing he knows about he knows about his soulmate. Were they- no, she- nice? Who was she? Was it even a she? Were they near him? Did he know them?

 

He sighed and reached for his phone, He texted his mom.

 

_ Evan: Mom, there are people _

_ Heidi: Sweetie, it’ll be okay, I promise. _

_ Evan: Mom, i'm scared… _

_ Heidi: I'm sorry, sweetie, Do you need me to take off? _

_ Evan: No, no! I'm going. I'm sorry, love you. _

_ Heidi: Love you too. _

 

Evan inhaled air like it was the last thing he would do, then walked to the bus stop. He waited for his friend, his only friend, Jared. Jared wasn't really his friend though, he used him.    
  
“Hi, J-J-Jared.” Evan said as cheerfully as he could. Jared ignored him and shoved a bath bomb in his mouth. He then turned to Evan, “You said.. Mmm.. something?”

 

“N-no, I didn't say anything.” Evan mumbled and looked at his feet. The bus came, and he panicked. He didn't know where to sit. As he walked down the crowded aisle, someone tugged him into seat. He squeaked, looking over to see Jared.

 

“Erin, got thirty bucks? I need some nail polish and more bath bombs.” 

 

“I-I don't have an-any money…” He whispered, not bothering to correct Jared. Jared rolled his eyes, and Evan took deep breaths to keep himself from panicking. He grabbed his pen and drew an ‘X’ on his wrist. Whenever he was panicking, he’d do that.

 

He got nothing back, and the bus stopped. He scribbled a messy heart and ran off the bus. Jared followed him. 

 

“Hey, look, it’s the school shooter. Hey, Connor, digging the new hair length! Very school shooter chic.” Jared laughed, looking at a boy with shoulder length hair. The tall boy glared at Jared and stepped closer. 

 

“I...I was.. A.. joking..” Jared mumbled. "I know. It's hilarious. Don't you see how hard I'm laughing?" Connor's voice was cold and stony. If Evan wasn't already terrified of him, he'd laugh.

 

"Am I not laughing hard enough for you?"  Connor growled, stepping into Jared's personal space dangerously. Jared laughed awkwardly, taking a step back. 

 

"You're such a freak," he mumbled as he retreated down the hallway past Evan. 

  
  
  


“What? You got something to say, freak?!” The boy shouted.

 

“N-N-No.. I-I’m not like hi-him!” Evan squeaked, hyperventilating.

 

“Huh? Are you scared, freak!” The boy growled.

 

“Connor! Leave the poor boy alone!” A girl shouted. He looked up at the girl, Zoe Hansen. Evan was in love with Zoe, he was convinced that she was his soulmate. Connor took deep breaths, turning back to Evan. Evan’s small figure shook, and Connor almost felt bad. He shoved Evan away, before walking off. 

 

Evan bursted into tears as soon as the boy left. His body shook, he was scared. He felt weak, he felt useless. He wiped his tears, and stood up. On his wrist, he wrote ‘Weak’. 


	2. Freak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VERY SHORT CHAPTER, SORRY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof

He rushed to class, sitting in the back. “Hey, Hansen.” Jared’s voice made Evan jump. Evan glared at Jared, ignoring him. Jared laughed, mumbling something. Evan huffed and looked at his wrist. ‘My name is Evan Hansen, what’s your name?’ he wrote.

Class dragged on, and Evan payed attention while Jared ate bath bomb covered cheetos. They day dragged on, and finally Evan was free. He could go home, and forget today ever happened.   
He missed his bus. He panicked, and looked at his wrist. It was empty. His heart sunk, he was alone. He grabbed his phone and called his mom, but no answer. 

“Hey, freak.” a voice made Evan jump. He turned around, facing Connor. He stumbled back, panicking. He quickly looked at his wrist, writing an ‘X’.

“Awww. The freak is telling his ‘soulmate’, huh?” Conner sneered, looking down at his wrist. A big ‘X’ was marked on his wrist. He frowned, his soulmate was panicking, somewhere in the world. 

“I-I…” Evan whispered. He messed with his sweater, completely ignoring the question. “Why… are you so.. Mean to me?”

Connor wasn’t expecting that question. He frowned, but then anger filled his body, this boy knew nothing about him He turned around, punching Evan in the face. Evan fell back, falling. His letter fell from his pocket, and Connor grabbed it.

“Dear Evan.. Hansen…” Connor read out loud, his eyes widened in realization. Evan Hansen. Evan Hansen is his soulmate.


	3. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW !! and sorry this is short
> 
> xoxo

III- Soulmates  
Connor felt like a monster. He hurt his soulmate, he didn't deserve one. Connor bursted into tears, his facade shattering like glass. Evan slowly sat up, staring at Connor. He stood and walked over to Connor, hugging him.

“Shh, shh.. I-It’s o-okay.” Evan whispered. Evan was a kind person, always there to help. Connor was confused, but he hugged the small boy back.

“I know you don't want me, I'm such a bad person…” Connor mumbled. Evan pulled away from him to look at him.

“I do want you. You’re my soulmate! I’ve been dreaming of a soulmate since I was three!” He cried, cupping Connor’s cheeks, wiping his tears. A small smile formed on Connor’s lips. They stood like that until it started to rain. Evan shivered, even in his hoodie. 

“I-I.. M-My mom is c-c-coming to ge-get m-m-me.” Evan stuttered, losing all of his confidence. Connor frowned and walked away. Evan instantly missed him, but he would see him again.

When his mom came, he jumped into the car. He was grinning. She raised her brow, “why are you so happy, kiddo?”

 

“I-I found him, mom!” He practically screamed. Heidi’s eyes widened and she stopped the car.

“Oh my god.” She breathed, hugging him. Evan hugged back, and after a few moments of crying, and talking, they kept driving.

‘Connor?’ Evan wrote on his wrist.  
‘Hey, Evan.’  
‘My mom wants to meet you this friday…’

Evan got no response, so he just wrote his phone number. They got home and Evan ran to his room. A few minutes later, Connor called him.

**lololol trigger warning: (s)elf harm, attempted (s)uicide, cussing, just sad stuff??**  
“Evan! What the fuck?! You’re so fucking stupid! You told someone?! I fucking hate you! You useless piece of shit!” Connor screamed into the phone, instantly making Evan cry and hyperventilate. He could hear Connor’s heavy breathing through the phone. 

“I-I-I’m so s-sorry…” Evan’s broken voice sobbed, hanging up the phone. He grabbed a razor blade, and locked the door. He cut up both of his arms, and his cheek. 

His phone was blowing up with texts from Connor, but he ignored it. He grabbed a handful of random pills, and swallowed as many as he can. 

***  
‘Connor?’ A message popped up on Connor’s wrist. He smiled.  
‘Hey, Evan.’ He responded.   
‘My mom wants to meet you this friday…” 

Connor’s smile dropped. No, no, no. No one was supposed to know, he has ruined everything for his family, this would make it worse. He was blinded by anger, then Evan’s number popped up on his wrist.

He was fuming, and called his number. 

“Evan! What the fuck?! You’re so fucking stupid! You told someone?! I fucking hate you! You useless piece of shit!” he screamed into the phone. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. He could hear Evan’s sobs into the phone. 

 

“I-I-I’m so s-sorry…” Evan’s broken voice sobbed. It broke Connor’s heart, he wanted to say sorry, but Evan hung up. A few minutes later, deep cuts appeared on his wrist. His heart sank, even though he couldn't feel the pain, he knew what was happening. At that moment, he realized… he fucked up.


End file.
